Love Letters | Love Ain’t Easy

love: keeping it real

Like last year, I want to shine a little bit of light on all different sorts of love this February with a Love Letters miniseries. Every Friday I’m featuring posts about love from some fabulous guest bloggers—and they’re not the typical boy meets girl, cue fireworks kind of love story. These stories show that love comes in all different shapes and sizes—and all of them should be celebrated. Today’s post is mine—with a little help form Bad Dad.

love: keeping it real

When I was my daughters’ ages, true love looked a lot like fairy tales: it was all handsome princes with dazzling smiles and bright white horses (shudder). By college, it had turned into hot guys with dangerous smiles who would buy me a drink (again, shudder).

But do you know what true love really is? It’s being driven completely insane by someone and loving them anyway. It’s choosing to remain with a person every single day, even though they are utterly incapable of properly loading a dishwasher.

That, in a nutshell, is my husband and I. We are completely mismatched and could not see the world more differently. He is all logic and reason (and stubborn. A whole lot of stubborn). I am all feelings and emotions (and also maybe a little bit stubborn. But very little…).

But we agree on one important thing: we love each other.

So, in the spirit of love that is real and true and not from the pages of a mystical storybook, we give unto thee two lists. One contains five incredibly valid reasons that he drives me insane. The other is a list of drivel that you probably don’t want to read anyway. 😉

love letters5 ways in which my husband drives me insane

  1. He does not seem to know how to open blinds or curtains. Instead, he would be totally cool with living in a vampire lair all day long.
  2. The vampire lair works for him during the daytime, but at night? The boy needs light. As in, every single light in the house.
  3. He can’t handle me leaving craft supplies out, but trimmed facial hair all over the sink? That’s fine.
  4. Three words: Crocs. with. socks.
  5. He does not seem to have any control over his tone of voice. He’ll say something in what I consider the most obnoxious and condescending tone imaginable. When I unleash my wrath all over the place, I realize by the look in his eyes that a) he is genuinely confused that I have taken offense and b) I now look like a crazy person.

…And 5 ways in which I drive him insane

  1. The Clutter: I will see a pile of stuff that’s been sitting somewhere for a month. I mention that it’s been sitting on the table for three weeks, I get yelled at because she has plans for it. If I put it away, I get yelled at for putting stuff in the wrong spot.
  2. The Info Dump: I live in a house where I’d win a game of who can stay quiet longest after about 30 seconds. When I get home from work I won’t even have my coat off before there is verbal diarrhea all over my person.
  3. Over thinking: Let’s loop this back to the clutter. Me, staring at scissors in pile: “Shouldn’t this go in the drawer where we keep the scissors?” Jen: ten minute explanation of why she thought this, that, and the other thing and that’s why the scissors have been on the table for three weeks.
  4. Unfinished business: I bought Jen a digital photography book like 7 years ago because that was what she was going to get into. Fairly certain it has never been opened.
  5. MomBlog Talk: She still uses words like “awesomesauce”… unironically.

Whatever. I am a messy, emotional, magpie with a tendency to overshare. I totally own that. Bite me, husband.

The point is, the whole notion of love meaning you are not able to live without someone is total bullshit. I could absolutely live without my husband. I would eat meals that were substantially less delicious and would watch way more romcoms. But I would survive. The idea that my survival depends entirely on another human being is kind of insulting. I am one hundred percent sure that I can do it. I’m not with my husband because of some weird dependency issues. I’m with my husband because I choose to be. Consciously. Every day. Even though it’s not easy and sometimes I might want to stab him with a fork. In the eye. To me, that’s true love.

In the immortal words of one Ms. Taylor Swift:

Like any great love
It keeps you guessing
Like any real love
It’s ever changing
Like any true love
It drives you crazy
But you know you wouldn’t change

Anything, anything, anything…

/drops mic and wins the marital battle to much applause.


This post is part of my 52 Essays project. This year I have set a goal for myself to write one finished piece every week(ish). I’m not sure what you can expect from them because I’m sort of winging it. Some will be good. Some will be less good. Hopefully you’ll love them. Maybe you’ll hate them. We’ll just have to wait and see. 😉 5/52

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