Bikini Bans Are Bullshit

As the days heat up and we rapidly approach the official start of summer (see: the crown of frizz now living along my hairline), I’ve stumbled across parents who are dead set against their daughters wearing bikinis. As a girl mom and a woman, I was intrigued. Is belly flesh really that scandalous? What makes bikinis so different and so much less appropriate than their one-piece counterparts? I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around it, but I needed to. The deeper I dug, though, the more pissed off I got.

The basic motivation behind a bikini ban is good: parents (usually fathers) feel they are in some way protecting their daughters by not allowing them to show their bellies. Now, I can totally get behind the idea of protecting my babies. There is no mama bear fiercer than I am. But can we take a second to acknowledge how completely fucked up that logic is?

teaching girls that their bodies are their own - bkini bans are ridiculous

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Celeb Moms on Instagram Who Keep It Really Real

I’m a little bit of an Instagram addict. I mean, I love it. I do. But there are times when I don’t love it. Like when everything is looking pristine and smiley and happy as I scroll through and I’m over here in yesterday’s yoga pants trying to break up a fight over who touched who in a mean way. Celeb moms on Instagram can really make me feel like shit. Some of them have feeds full of gorgeously curated photos taken by what must be a professional photographer with captions like “My heart!” or “This is what life’s all about!” And while that’s totally true, it can make a momma feel like a total failure when she just wants five seconds without anyone touching her.

That leads me to today’s post. Today, I want to celebrate the celeb moms on Instagram who keep it real. I mean really real. The mommas who show us that life isn’t all bright, perfectly aligned smiles and children who look like they frolicked out of an ad campaign. Today is all about the famous moms who give us a tiny glimpse of real life.

8 Awesomely Honest Celeb Moms on Instagram

Yes. I eat in the shower. I admit it. Chicken apple sausage and espresso. Try it. I dare you. #ShowerEats

A post shared by Jessica Biel (@jessicabiel) on

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Chrissy Teigen at the Oscars is Every Mom I Know

Chrissy Teigen at the OscarsI have to tell you, I love Chrissy Teigen. From shutting down mom shaming trolls on Twitter again and again to being a completely unapologetic goofball, she is my kind of girl. I mean, how can you not love someone who constantly finds herself turned into a meme and always manages to laugh it off? She doesn’t take herself too seriously and I love that about her.

Aside from the whole “I’m a model and married to John Legend” thing, she’s also really, really easy to relate to—especially since becoming a mom.

Take her night at the Oscars, for instance.

Chrissy started the night off by presenting her daughter with an Oscar while she was getting ready. Because moms always think their kids are just about the best at everything.

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Becoming a Mom Terrified Me

becoming a mom terrified me

Some women feel like they’re ready. Others try for years before they get pregnant or before an adoption becomes final. None of these were my experience. In fact, I couldn’t have been less ready or more surprised to become a mom.

Here’s the thing though: we all have completely different, one hundred percent unique experiences when it comes to becoming a mother.

Somehow though, we’re always fed the same narrative:

Girl meets man of her dreams.

Man pops the question.

Girl gets married.

Girl gets pregnant.

Girl, man and child live happily ever after. The end.

But life doesn’t follow a script. In fact, it doesn’t give a shit about your script. Your script is actually a fantasy and life will do whatever the hell it wants with you. It’s your job to roll with the punches.

It’s just really scary to roll with the punches when that punch happens to be a brand new life that you’re in charge of.

I’m sharing my story of becoming a mom (and all of the fears that went along with it) on Glamamom today. If you like it, please share it—especially with new or soon-to-be moms who might not realize we were all terrified once.

What scared (or scares) you about becoming a mom?
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Dads Don’t “Watch” Their Kids

't "watch" their kids—they parent

I was already sweating. Crammed in between chairs and dodging elbows attached to scissor wielding hands that were dancing around wet heads, I didn’t have space to take off my jacket or my huge scarf. So I stood there, smiling at the reflection of my daughter. She was silently cringing as a stranger brushed her hair, which was a hilarious contrast to the seemingly uncontrollable screeches I got treated to when I did the same thing. I caught her eye and smiled at her before getting sucked in to the conversation happening next to me.

“So you’re watching the kids today, eh?”

A small Italian man with a big New York City accent was snipping away at another man’s head, the guy’s newly shorn sons wrestling in a chair nearby.

“Giving the wife a break?”

That’s all it took. Frustration and rage boiled up inside of me until I felt like a kettle on the verge of shrieking. I felt my face become tomato red as the two men chuckled and shrugged as if they each understood what it was like to have to take one for the team.

There were so many things I wanted to say right then.

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