love letters| love hurts

Like last year, I want to shine a little bit of light on all different sorts of love this February with a Love Letters miniseries. Every Friday I’m featuring posts about love from some fabulous guest bloggers—and they’re not the typical boy meets girl, cue fireworks kind of love story. These stories show that love comes in all different shapes and sizes—and all of them should be celebrated. Today’s post is from Ferg of Hapless and Hopeless.

love letters|  love hurtsThere comes a time when we are all left stranded alone on the intersection of love and life, and you question why the hell you put yourself through so much pain just to experience love. I’m not just talking about the love shared with a partner, but familial relationships and friendships too. Love is multifaceted and penetrates all aspects of our daily lives. As such, we all come to these crossroads at some point and have many tough decisions to make.

The bottom line is love hurts… It really sucks sometimes. Whether it’s the pain of being dumped, having to walk away from a friendship, or even the death of a loved one, you begin to tell yourself that life would be so much simpler if we didn’t love at all. And boy would you be right!

Think of the emotional dollars you would save if you never subscribed to love. We would all live harmoniously without ever having to endure (or arrange) absurd overblown gestures on Valentine’s Day or for anniversaries—in fact you wouldn’t even have to remember them! You could even choose to live your life peacefully on your own, avoiding the awkward and irritating “you’re next” pressure at every wedding, because without love there would be no romantic folly or reverence surrounding marriage—instead just a practical arrangement of two people joined in matrimony for the purpose of company and procreation.

Families could co-exist as a circle of distant friends, merely scratching the surface of each other’s lives. When one of these “friends” die there’ll be an understanding that this is simply the course of nature… not to mention a huge saving on tissues having skipped what I like to call the 2nd stage of grief: Snot!

But just as I was ready to put a deposit on my slice of this loveless utopia, I started to realize what we would miss out on:

Without love there is no empathy, no kindness of strangers.

Society would be passionless and less human for it. Is that not one of the things that set us apart in nature?

You would miss the opportunity to make so many fond memories—including during the aforementioned anniversaries that you would now have to remember!

There would be no warmth of family love, that invisible hug which keeps you safe.

Our children would be raised robotically, devoid of emotion and personality traits that go hand-in-hand with love—such as benevolence, fervor and protective instinct.

Finally, you would never hear those three little words whispered from the mouth of someone who utterly adores you.

So, as you stand at that crossroad, tired of hurting and trying to decide which road to take, just picture all of those magical moments where your heart swelled and the butterflies in your stomach took flight, and tell yourself: Love is light, Love is good and I carry it with me always. Just think of the stark contrast of a loveless life and choose the path filled with the positives instead.

You are strong and you will overcome the pain. Take the first and most important step of all: learn to love yourself… the rest will follow. And remember “Love doesn’t make the worlds go round. Love is what makes the journey worthwhile.”  –Franklin P. Jones

With Love,

P.S. You can find more ponderings, reviews and snippets of my “life loves” on my website or follow me on Instagram or Twitter.

Written by Jennifer Garry
Jen is a freelance writer and girl mom from New York. When she's not knee-deep in glittery crafts and girl talk, you can probably find her sprawled across her couch in the middle of a Netflix marathon with dark chocolate smeared on her face. The struggle is real.