Once again I’m letting Bad Dad out around polite company and crossing my fingers that he doesn’t alienate all of my friends and casual readers. He’s fresh, but that’s why we like him…

Bad Dad bite

I have a way about me that I like to call honest. Others have described it as everything from “a little harsh” to “wow, what an asshole.” As such, sometimes it’s hard for me to know whether it’s what I’m saying that’s the problem, or whether it’s how I’m saying it that’s the problem.

And so, here are more rejected blog topics. I thought they were rejected due to the headline, but as it turns out, I guess the problem was in the concept and not the presentation. Whatever.

People piss in the ocean all the time / Why my kids will never eat seafood.

Saying amazeballs makes you sound like a fucking idiot / Honey, I have an idea about your writing.

Me and my awesome kids are tap dancing on Wilford Brimley’s square grave (is he dead?) / My 7 year old has never even tried soda.

Math + Girls = LOL / How to break it to your daughters that they’re going to suck at math.

Cash Money Muthafucka /  Listening to Lil’ Wayne with your kids to try and boost their entrepreneurial spirit.

Sweetie, don’t go near that gross bum there’s vomit everywhere/ Explaining homelessness to your kids.

Tell that nice lady you’re lost and her eyes are pretty / Sometimes mommies and daddies leave their wedding rings home to try and make friends.

Jesus, you seriously still thought Santa was real? / The right and wrong ways to act/react when you realize you’ve ruined your child’s innocence.

Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I’ll be back. / Funny things to say before your kids go to sleep.

Gluing an oreo on a stick to your pudgebucket in 3 easy steps / Ways to motivate your kids to exercise.

If you like or hate what Bad Dad has to say, please yell it from the rooftops in the comments section. His posts get a suspiciously large number of hits but almost no comments. Do you love him? Do you hate him? Do you hate yourself for agreeing with some of the things he says (obviously not the girls and math stuff because the girls in this house happen to rule at math)? I want to know what you think!

Written by Jennifer Garry
Jen is a freelance writer and girl mom from New York. When she's not knee-deep in glittery crafts and girl talk, you can probably find her sprawled across her couch in the middle of a Netflix marathon with dark chocolate smeared on her face. The struggle is real.