Glimpses of Motherhood is a series that offers a small peek into the lives of moms from all different places and walks of life. The women give us a look at what life is like for them while also serving up recommendations and getting a little vulnerable. My hope is that these posts make you feel connected and understood, while also seeing the ways other women live their lives differently than yours.
The universe works in weird ways. Just as I’m in the middle of paring down my whole life and purging like a mother, I discover today’s momma: Dacy Gillespie. Dacy is a self-proclaimed fashion therapist who takes the stress out of getting dressed. How does she work this magic, you wonder? Well, partially through minimalism.
Dacy’s philosophy is this:
“We have too much, do too much and worry too much. And even though a life of too much isn’t working, we continue to buy things we don’t need.
But all of these options lead to more overwhelm. And more indecision. And more dissatisfaction with the way we’re living our every day lives.
I truly believe that letting go of what’s unnecessary and buying only what we’ll use and love can be the catalyst for so much positive change (and yes, the change I’m referring to goes far beyond our closets).
To me, minimalism doesn’t only mean white walls and black clothing. It means that you actually use everything you own. It means that you have control over what’s in your closet.
It means embodying the ideas that less is more, quality is more important than quantity and knowing yourself is the path to peace.”
I immediately wanted to know more about her life.
Tell us a little bit about yourself.
I’m Dacy and I live in St. Louis with my husband and 3.5-year-old son. I work part-time running a personal styling business called mindful closet. My main goal is to make sure I have enough time in my week to spend time with my family, take care of my health, and do a bit of work I find meaningful.
What does a typical day look like for you?
I’m sure most people say that there’s not a typical day for them. That applies to me too, as much as I wish I had a steady routine. My son wakes up around 6:30 or 7. On a good day, I’ve gotten up a bit before him and can journal and check email and plan for the day a bit, but that only happens a couple of times a week. We play, eat, and get ready.
Three days a week, he goes to half-day preschool. During that time, I work from home or a library, blogging, doing social media, or working on my online course, Making Space. In the afternoons on Mondays and Tuesdays, I work one-on-one with clients. The mornings and afternoons when I’m not working, we have playdates or go to a kid’s activity (St. Louis has a plethora of them). Sadly, my son doesn’t nap anymore, but we still have a bit of “rest time” in the afternoon, when I’ll check back in on stuff online. Bedtime is around 7, and after that, it’s time for the parents to have some time to themselves.
What beauty product would you take with you on a desert island? Why?
Gosh, none?! I’m not big into beauty products!
What are the last three books you’ve read? Were they any good?
Funny question. If books aren’t good, I just stop reading them. Life’s too short.
I’m in the middle of The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar, which is fascinating. Another good recent non-fiction read was Scarcity: The New Science of Having Less and How it Defines Our Lives by Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir. A more mindless read is The Identicals by Elin Hilderbrand.
What is your biggest guilty pleasure?
A big bowl of popcorn and some trashy reality TV!
What’s the most surprising thing about motherhood for you?
That you can’t plan AT ALL, for two reasons: things are constantly changing and you won’t know how you feel about any parenting issue until you are in the middle of it. This has made me completely non-judgemental of others’ choices because you can plan to handle an issue one way, and when you’re in, the opposite feels right.
What’s your parenting style like?
We try to practice positive, conscious parenting. We’d rather make sure our son knows that it’s ok to have emotions and teach him that he can choose how to manage them. Having said that, of course we have times when our patience runs out and we lose it!
A friend told me when you don't know what to post, post a picture of a cute kid. Here ya go. P.S. this is from the Making Space course photoshoot – it's an online course I'm working on that will help you let go of all the clothes you're not wearing but haven't been able to make the decision to get rid of. Go to the link in my profile to make sure you're signed up to get info when it releases! photo: @celestegboyer
Do you have any words of wisdom for other moms?
Don’t hold yourself to any plans or sense of identity you had before you had kids. Things change, situations change, and you’ll change. What you need and want to do can change too.
What does balance mean for you?
Balance for me means having enough white space in my schedule—that not every hour is scheduled. Enough time to sleep well, eat well, move my body, spend time with people I love, and do work that I enjoy.
What’s your favorite podcast?
At the moment, Startup Pregnant from Sarah Kathleen Peck. She and her guests are trying to redefine what work means and how it can fit into a life with family; how the two can coexist so that women don’t have to choose one or the other.
If you’d like to continue the conversation with Dacy, please feel free to ask her questions in the comments. I also highly encourage you to check out her website, mindful closet (she has a series about motherhood on her blog too!), and on Instagram.