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play
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Cuddles & Chaos - motherhood, for real
  • Home
  • about
    • contact
    • Writing, Editing and Marketing Services for Small Businesses
  • self care
  • motherhood
  • kids
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  • play
  • book store
giggles

The World’s Worst Witness

police sketch | my husband sucks at descriptions

This year I have set a goal for myself to write 52 Essays: one finished piece every week. I’m not sure what you can expect from them because I’m sort of winging it. Some will be good. Some will be less good. Hopefully you’ll love them. Maybe you’ll hate them. We’ll just have to wait and see. 😉

Guys, I’m pretty sure my husband is the worst person in the history of the universe at describing people. I mean, it was bad enough when he gave a “meh” shrug at the mention of Natalie Portman and said “She’s cute, I guess” (um, no dear. She’s gorgeous). But I am now convinced that if I were the victim of a crime, my husband is the absolute last person on the face of the earth that I would want tasked with describing the bad guy.

Bad Dad would leave even the most seasoned of police sketchers (that’s what they’re called, right?) with a drawing that looks like this:

police sketch | my husband sucks at descriptions

Think I’m exaggerating?

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Personal

Epic Mom Fail of the Year

Frozen loving sisters

Frozen loving sistersI mentioned on Facebook the other day that last year was a lot of talk and not as much action as I’d like. Since I am nothing if not a woman of her word, I decided to get on that saddle and get shit started right away this year.

So, instead of prolonging things and waiting it out, I decided it was best to get my Epic Mom Fail of the Year out of the way before we even got five days of 2015 under our belts. Go big or go home, right guys? Because #YOLO!

Somehow, through a combination of a giant misunderstanding and gross negligence on my part (this is one of those times when my husband breaks out his favorite nickname for me: NegliJenny. Yeah. Hilarious.), I managed to order tickets for Disney Princesses and Heroes on Ice while thinking I purchased Frozen on Ice tickets. I know this doesn’t sound epic. It might even sound borderline silly. But you are not the parent of my kids and you did not witness their crushing disappointment.

Let’s back up.

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about the momma

Hi! I'm Jen, a freelance writer and girl mom who loves reading the newest children’s books as much as I love a good psychological thriller. I believe fiercely in the power of kindness, empathy, and really good quality chocolate. When I'm not knee-deep in glittery crafts and girl talk, you can probably find me sprawled out on my couch in the middle of a Netflix marathon with dark chocolate smeared on my face. The struggle is real. Learn more about me here.

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